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The following are actual news headlines from newspapers around the globe...

Air Head Fired.

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire.

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.

Autos killing 110 a day - let's resolve to do better.

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood.

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board.

Blind woman gets new kidney from daughter she hasn't seen in years.

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply.

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy.

Child's death ruins couple's holiday.

Childs stool great for use in garden.

Cold wave linked to temperatures.

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing.

Dealers will hear car talk at noon.

Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation.

Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors.

Drunk gets nine months in violin case.

Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84.

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax.

Eye drops off shelf.

Farmer Bill dies in house.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.

If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while.
Iraqi head seeks arms.

Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

Juvenile court to try shooting defendant.

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.

Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years.

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees.

Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests.

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.

Lung cancer in women mushrooms.

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge.

Man is fatally slain.

Milk drinkers are turning to powder.

Miners refuse to work after death.

NJ judge to rule on nude beach.

Never withhold herpes infection from loved one.

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies.

Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy.

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni.

Organ festival ends in smashing climax.

Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over.

Plane too close to ground, crash probe told.

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.

Police found safe hidden under bed.

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff.

Prostitutes appeal to Pope.

Quarter of a million Chinese live on water.

Queen Mary having bottom scraped.

Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead.

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge.

Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted.

Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training.

Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency.

Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction.

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say.

Soviet virgin lands short of goal again.

Squad helps dog bite victim.

 

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